WCC Keynote #2: Wisdom for the Wild

Disclaimer: While this is catered more towards worship leading, a lot of points are still relatable and you get a snapshot of what goes on behind preparations for worship.

Mark Counihan began his keynote session Saturday morning with an anecdote about his dad. His dad, despite his age, has been actively exploring and hiking the world. When people hear of his travels, they want to know which mountain he was planning to conquer next…as if mountains can be conquered. All you do is climb on top of it and stick a flag on top. You don’t swallow the mountain or blow it to bits. It’s not a pet that can be “tamed” or “trained”. How is it conquered? It can’t be. Similarly, we are not conquests. We have our own wills. We are all different, and purposely created so. God did not create robots, mindlessly following Him, all with the same hair, same build, and same face.

We were also made to worship. From a quiet, deep contemplation to a loud, unrestrained shout, how we worship God may also manifest differently from person to person because we are all different. However our worship takes form, we look to the Scriptures because it is truth. God’s Word is true. So we delve into Proverbs to reflect on the wisdom God’s Word provides us, things to be mindful of when we aim to freely worship and please Him, and as we also lead others in worshipping Him. We have 4 main pitfalls to consider:

1. I. I. I. I. I. The I problem.

“Do not exalt yourself in the king’s presence, and do not claim a place among his great men…” (Proverbs 25:6).

There was once an event being held out in the open. The main attraction was a fireworks display at the end of the event. However, it is to be noted that this region often has storms and lightning occurrences. While the people were admiring the huge, colorful, and elaborate fireworks in the sky, a storm started brewing. Pretty soon, the lightning in the sky was proving to be a show in itself as the people admired the lights and the huge, intricate patterns it made. The awesome fireworks paled in comparison to the natural, ethereal beauty of those lightning strikes.

Similarly, we are so often caught up in putting on a show when leading worship that it becomes a matter of how I put on the production just right – my own efforts with the lights, songs, instrumentation, staging chosen. We become so focused on entertaining/being entertained. “This worship service needs to be less boring for ME. I’m gonna make this happen.” Or even if we have the sincerest of intentions, such as feeding ourselves spiritually…”The songs should be catered to ME, who God is to ME, what God is doing in MY life.” I. I. I. We become so focused on fireworks and the artificial that we forget the wonders of natural lightning. In our self-focus, what room does God have in our lives? Did we leave any space for God to work in? Do we really even want God to work in, through, and amidst us?

Can you envision how awkward it is, not to mention how embarrassing and impolite it is (to say the least), if you were facing a king (or in this case The King) being so pleased with yourself and boasting of your efforts and accomplishments, when in truth, it amounts to nothing really significant? Mark recalled a time when he wrote a song, just as a hobby, something to pass the time. The recording was also simple, just his vocals and his guitar. Pretty soon, he noticed that it was climbing the iTunes charts and eventually reached #1 in the African region. His ego was steadily inflating. An internal struggle commenced. “My song is doing pretty good. If this is what happens when I make songs for fun, imagine what I can achieve if I put more effort and resources into it! Should I share this with my Twitter followers? Yeah, I think I will!” He took a screenshot of his song being on top of the African iTunes charts. Well, guess what? The moment he posted it on Twitter, his song was bumped into second place by Jad Gillies’/Hillsong’s newest tune…to which Jad heavily chuckled to in the audience. Humbling moment, ain’t it?

I would liken it to lollipop (big head) moments like this: “See God, I made the perfect set list! Did you see that lady crying the entire worship time? No need to thank me for opening her up to be more receptive to the Holy Spirit. I’m just that awesome and skilled! I bet I’m better than Darlene Zschech! Right?” Whatever the scenario, it doesn’t end well.

“Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the Lord, and humility comes before honor” (Proverbs 15:33).

It’s only this year that I’ve started being intentional in asking God for wisdom whenever I pray. You’d think it’s enough to do devotions and read His Word, and yes, you draw wisdom from that, but reading something and internalizing it is very different from actual application. The bridge from stock knowledge into everyday practice is that attitude of fearing the Lord. We have to answer to Him, whether it’s leading worship or just in our normal everyday walk. And so this also helps with humility. In answering to Him, we acknowledge the hierarchy of God being above us.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I’ve been open about my previous struggle to be humble. Another example of this would be that I was so defensive in my early days leading worship, whenever someone would come to me with a critique of the worship time. It was my baby. Eventually, after a workshop with Ben Fielding of Hillsong and hearing him speak of partnership and stewardship, it just opened up this whole new perspective for me, which I hold to this day. It’s helped me to welcome feedback and value it, rather than dread it. I’ve learned that critique isn’t to be taken personally, because the focus is God and ministering to others. Feedback is beneficial to improve and be effective in my role in guiding people to that safe space of worship. Stewardship of my talents involves placing myself in as high a standard as, say, a pastor, especially with song choices and accurate theology. I could never do that without humility, and let me tell you – more than honor, I’ve been blessed with so much peace and joy in this ministry because of it.

2.  Integrity

“The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but people are tested by their praise” (Proverbs 27:21).

My mom always makes fun of me and about how she doesn’t trust my taste in food. Everything seems to be delicious to me. What can I say? I’m a simple girl who appreciates the little things. What’s my point? My praise for a certain restaurant or food reflects who I am. My taste buds are easily pleased. Similarly, a lot can be deduced from how a person praises or worships. I’m not just talking about the outward appearance, but the inner conditions as well. Is your heart right there, present in the now? What are the themes that you gravitate towards? How is God moving you at this particular moment/season of your life? Do you sing/play your musical instrument with abandon or with much reservation? You know for yourself, and God knows as well, how genuine you are being. Psalm 78 has a nice little ditty about integrity of heart. So what can we do to uphold integrity?

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23).

Your heart holds your desires and motives. Everything you do is an outpouring of this. There shouldn’t be a gap between what you sing/play and how you live. You can’t compartmentalize worship to Sundays only. You are you, no matter what day of the week it is. This next passage is also closely related to humility. Be humble enough not to exalt yourself, but also be genuine enough to receive praise because it reflects the wonders and glory of how God is working in you. After all, your talents are from Him.

“Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth; an outsider, and not your own lips” (Proverbs 27:2).

“The righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern” (Proverbs 29:7).

What’s a better gauge of integrity than love in action. Where is love in apathy? I believe it’s in Ephesians 4 where we are called to live a life worthy of the calling we have received. This further reminds me of James 1:27, where we see that what is regarded as pure and faultless religion is looking after widows and orphans in distress. Compassion, my friends, extends beyond the music.

3. Isolation

Some people might not understand this, but this is all too familiar to me. Mark mentioned the isolation we intentionally choose. We choose to fly solo. It’s easier than you think. Somehow, it’s easier to talk to a crowd on Sunday, imparting God’s words, than one on one after service where you actually have to have an exchange/conversation with people that go beyond just theology. I gravitate towards isolation and credit it to shyness. Sometimes, we just find it difficult to enter community. Sometimes, it’s just more comfortable to stick to our little pockets of acquaintances, our few friends, or even to just duck out right after service. This should not continue.

Jad Gillies also made a very good point (on a separate panel later that day) in saying, “We don’t need more Christian rock stars, but sometimes, we just need leaders. People sometimes just don’t know how to get from the place of being bound and broken to a place of surrender and faith and worship and response.” We have a specific purpose. It helps to invest in something local: a local/home church and the community it holds. Christy Nockels, Chris Tomlin, Paul Baloche, Hillsong, and all these other Christian artists, at the end of their touring and their travelling, all have a home church they return to to minister and serve in. You have to be present in your congregation…each part is the Church. The next generation is going to have to come from here. And besides, how will you lead when you’re so far removed from the realities of the congregation? Which brings us to…

“Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies have no sense” (Proverbs 12:11).

“Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice…As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:9, 17).

We have all these ideas and perceptions of how things are when, in reality, things are very different. We struggle to take advice. We were raised in a society that values autonomy, independence. We are problem-solvers. We can do this on our own! Right? Wrong! One person sharpens another and true friends build each other up, even if it means dishing out tough love. This is why feedback is so important and why I’m so thankful my eyes were opened to its value. Feedback in this context of worship and leading is essential to be effective and to continue learning and growing in faith, knowledge, and style/creativity.

On the flip side, Jad also mentioned that opinion is valuable, yes, but if you’re swayed just by opinion, you miss the mark. You’re there to worship God, not to just follow a few people’s preferences. If you try to please everyone, you become reactive/reactionary instead of imparting influence/effect. So just always remember that you’re serving God. That focus should provide you with a balance between constructive feedback and clear vision/direction.

4. Ignorance

We’re no longer talking about ignorance of the needs and journeys of the congregation. We’re talking about the technical stuff. Do we ever stop to think, “What are we singing/playing?”

“The simple believe anything, but the prudent give thought to their steps” (Proverbs 14:15).

We have to sift and weigh every single word in each song that we sing/play. In the few workshops I’ve been to that talk about the technical and spiritual aspects of how you string lyrics and melodies together, this tension is a constant struggle in songwriting. Correct theology is a priority, sometimes at the cost of a brilliant melodic resolution or dropping a word that flows well in speech and image portrayal. Flow and alliterations and rhyme schemes should always be secondary because in writing worship songs, you’re not just writing songs. These are songs with the primary purpose of praise and worship. I say “should”, but this isn’t always the case. There are, unfortunately, countless stories about famous Christian musicians and worship leaders and pastors with theology so off the mark, but still leading their congregations in those ideologies. They don’t just believe in something false, but they’re also causing people to stumble. It’s a scary thought to be lifting heretical offerings to God.

So when you hear a moving, melodic swell, or a killer guitar rift, or an extremely danceable, driving beat, or a really awesome wordplay, pause and assess. Read God’s Word regularly, know your stuff. I try my hardest at this when putting together set lists. First question is always, “Is this theologically sound?” Second is, then, “Does the song tie well with the message” or “Can the congregation respond to, with, and through this song”, and then, further, “Do the songs flow well in terms of thought and key transitions”, and so on. For those who don’t understand why I take so long in announcing sets, this is why. Now you know. Haha.

Let’s go back to our roots – Why are we singing/playing/worshipping? Well, the simple answer is because we were made to worship and glorify God. When God inhabits the praises of the people, as when His Spirit moves in our minds and our hearts, something happens. It changes our expectancy for Sundays. We don’t expect mediocre, and we certainly shouldn’t. We aim to always encounter God in that space of total surrender, whatever condition we’re in, however this manifests itself. We need to understand the bigger picture, focus on God’s mission and not on just our respective roles. God is not limited by our capabilities. He uses us even in impossible circumstances and He certainly gives us all the tools we need to do His work.

Reflecting on Proverbs is all well and good, but Mark points us to a growing concern he had as he was going through the book – its background. It was written by the wisest man ever, Solomon, but he messed things up too. Even the greatest wisdom wasn’t able to keep him on the straight and narrow. It’s a good reminder that we can have all the wisdom in the world, all the tips from all the experts on how to worship and how to lead worship, all the resources to improve our gifts, but we still need that one thing – a genuine growing relationship with God. We need that intimacy in our lives to keep on the path, and Solomon needed it too. Luke 10:1-24 shows us an interesting perspective if we were to liken ourselves to the 72 that Jesus sent out ahead of Him. The harvest is plenty. What are we doing with it?

“Peace to this house.” Peace be with you.

WCC Keynote #1: Live and Lead like You are Loved

Even weeks after, I’m still trying to digest everything that happened and everything that was shared and exchanged over the two days of the worship conference. It was such an amazing experience to be a part of.

Christy Nockels began her keynote session Friday night by sharing that the older she gets, the more she notices God giving her new affections, as if God was dropping more and more of His heart into hers. Fresh from an emotional worship time, my tiredness from the vexing workday and journey from the weeks past seemed to have been washed away with the tears that came unexpectedly. These were tears of guilt for the times I didn’t treat God as the priority; tears from being overwhelmed at the realization of His grace and how He can love someone like me; tears of surrender. So much has changed, and it was finally time for my heart to catch up to where my head was at. I was sitting by myself in pews full of people with their worship teams, but my previous sadness at being on my own was replaced with God’s peace, purpose, and a fresh look at the situation. That, and relief that no one I knew saw me bawling. Lol. I understood what she meant.

I understood what she meant because the older I got, the more I understood life and people and found vision in ministries and passions. What was inconsequential and boring before, holds so much meaning now. The obvious example would be that when I was younger, what mattered most to me was worshipping God, being able to sing to Him. What “mattered” quickly became using MY gift for God, service in the ministry. As years passed, the focus became a desire to assist in leading people into a place of worship and honing my craft. Then, it was getting people to use their gifts as well. From the role of being led to leading, it became apparent even more that it was and is important to foster my relationship with God and getting to know Him more and what He wants, rather than my own aspirations for people. I’ve learned to have more faith in God working, than my own perception of control. I plan, but it’s okay if it’s not followed to the T. Now, I’m motivated to ensure others grow, and hopefully as a result, they’d also get from the being led stage to the leading stage. I did not feel so deeply about this before, but God seems to be, as she said, planting new affections.

Getting older is awesome. You notice things or are able to have a more holistic view of things, and you’re able to respond in a way you wouldn’t have before, because your hang-ups then are no longer an issue now. She had one such epiphany, sitting at her farm table one day. She had just given up touring because she was just tired all the time and the tour bus is no place to raise children. Add to that the fact that one night, she found peace in cleaning the toilet after her toddler decided to aim poorly. Her children were starting to grow up and God had been repeatedly telling her to go home. So there she was, at her farm table, asking God if this was crazy. What He showed her was that there is a promise and a purpose and a way, and it’s not necessarily how we envision or expect things to play out. All she desired was for the Kingdom to come to earth through her life. Colossians 3:12 came to her…

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

There is a created order. Facts or reasons are established first, then the command. Our gospel identity is that we are God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved through our adoption by faith. In knowing our identity, then, we clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, etc. These traits are what people-we-encounter-everyday will see. People who don’t have an idea of who God is will see a glimpse of Him, His Kingdom, through us, if we are grounded in Him, in truth. In knowing our identity, we know the Kingdom is our inheritance. The Kingdom is a renewing of all things, and we all anticipate that day. But for now, we are works in progress; broken, broken people. God refines us at every moment, in our imperfections.

Through the years, the image of concentric circles kept popping up: the vision of a target/bull’s-eye. God was constantly reassuring her to focus on the center. “Just hit the bull’s-eye, and I’ll take care of the outer circles. It is not for you to promote yourself and to keep yourself on the map…but it’s for My glory.” And so she opened her Bible to the middle, one of her favorite verses – Psalm 37:5-6.

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.

Just the bull’s-eye in the middle. That’s all you need to take care of. You have one job. Lol. What does she mean? There are three things to consider. Think of each point as a ring that makes up the bull’s-eye, starting from the center.

One: Who you are. You are beloved. BEloved. He is “The Great I Am”. He Who Is, Who Be’s. We are “The Great I Am”-loved. We are God-loved. This should permeate how we come to Him every day, through remembrance of Who He is and what He’s done. Admittedly, there are days when I’m just drained. You know those days when Murphy’s Law explodes in your face or you just had a horrible bout of insomnia the previous night or you’re deathly ill or someone somewhere “needs” you. After chronic sub-optimal days like these, it’s hard to feel loved and to be grateful for that love, when all you want to do is cry, complain, eat, sleep, or even just sit in silence doing absolutely nothing. But days like these change. For every 100 horrible days, there’s bound to be 1 day that’s so-so at the very least. Our ever-changing circumstances don’t change the constant truth of our identity and that we are God-loved. When we get laid-off, we are beloved. When we get paid for a passion project, we are still beloved.

I’m thankful that Christy pointed out that His love and His covenant is not equal, but greater than our commitment to Him. We fail. We are imperfect. We sometimes ride the waves that toss us about. We doubt. We waver. Our efforts at “commitment” don’t really measure up to much. But His love and His covenant…can we grasp the concept of never EVER failing? Perfect. Sure. Steadfast. That is the God who loves us. He is our rest and our place to hide. I draw comfort from the fact that even in my failings, I can confide in that God; that I see I’m not going to get there (the goal/the ideal) today, but He has already gotten there for me. “Lord, I aim to be as humble as You today, but I realize I’m still hanging on to a bit of pride. Thank You for doing the ultimate humbling act on the cross, which gives me hope that I can let go of my pride and do better tomorrow.”

Two: The how. When you know who you are and Who loves you/Who you can count on, obedience becomes a response of being beloved rather than a means of approval. I don’t stay up ’til 2am waiting for someone to come home because I need them to like me. I’d rather sleep (and be a professional burrito haha). However, I do stay up because they’re family. I love them and they love me. It’s as simple as that. No strings attached. We don’t obey and follow God’s laws and do all these random acts of kindness because we need God to love us. We are already loved…and so we do this because we know He is pleased to see this and we genuinely just want to bring Him more joy.

As we obey and we grow, our refinement becomes our language of discipleship. Our experiences become the tools by which we pour into people, with the help of the Holy Spirit. Oh…take Philippians 2 for example. We know this, but it’s just such a struggle sometimes to be humble. Verses 3 to 5 get me every time as I examine myself and find that I’ve failed in that aspect so many times, but can now see progress as I veer away from pride. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus…”

As mentioned in the previous post, there’s been a burden in my heart this past year or so, and was amplified on a trip to Portland, to help develop the next generation and raise Timothys. It brought me so much joy to just sit back one weeknight during worship practice and observe the younger folks leading worship. This was something new since, as mentioned, I used to be so enthusiastic about being able to lead worship. It was about me using my gifts. Now, with God’s constant pruning, I realize the importance of humility and remember the focus of worship is God. Seeing these kids…so much potential, so much we can do! It was an aha moment of mind-blowing proportions seeing where God is leading, realizing that I’m doing this with God as a teammate, and the comfort in knowing that I’m in good hands. There’s a peace to knowing you’re fulfilling His will, your purpose. As Christy said, “He raised you up to raise others up.” And so I continue to pour myself into other people because, well, I surprisingly (or not surprisingly) find joy in God’s joy.

Three: The what. Our response ability changes as we grow and mature in Christ. You’ll see it. You won’t be able to help it. You’ll feel the NEED to take others with you in responding to God. “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Eph. 2:10)” There’s plenty of work to be done. Along the way, there will be plenty of people that we’ll meet. If we’re coming from a secure place, knowing who we are with God at the center, it will pour out into how we live our lives and relate to others, and it will further spill over into what we actually do as a manifestation of everything God is. When you’re running around on outer rings, it just leaves you exhausted, tired. When you’re stuck on the outer rings, it just leaves you frustrated. Believe me, I know. I was caught up in the outer rings for the longest time. When you’re too focused on the how, or even the what, you miss the point. God is at the center of it all and really, you only have to focus on the center. The rest is God’s. He’ll take care of the details.

Christy’s work with the women of her home church produced valuable relationships and spiritual support that have already spanned decades. Her work with her producer husband on the rug of their humble home contributed to the Passion band and the Passion conferences that have made an impact on so many generations of youth through the years. She got to meet and work with musicians with a similar call and vision such as Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman, and Kristian Stanfill. They’ve created a community of encouragement and purpose, so much so, that years after Christy decided to stop touring and focus on her family, that bond had never changed. The Dove Awards is a sort of platform of recognition created by the Gospel Music Association. There was a spot during the awards that showcased a song that made a huge impact that year. Chris Tomlin was there. Michael W. Smith was there. The heavyweights of Christian music. While droves of talent managers were vying for a place for their talent to be involved in that number, the producers called Christy up. They remember her work. Christy, who has been out of the spotlight for years, happily content in being a good wife and mom, suddenly asked to participate in such a huge platform. She got to be amongst friends doing what she loved, without unnecessarily exhausting herself. She doesn’t have to bother with the outer rings, and neither should we. God takes care of the details.

Sunday’s Take-Away: Instances of Prayer

When I was still young in faith, I used to raise my eyebrows at the mention of prayer warriors. It just didn’t sound right. “Prayer” and “warrior” are two words that are seemingly irreconcilable in definition. In my head, the first images that come to mind when you say the word “prayer” is a child kneeling at bedside before going to sleep. Or a monk, priest, or nun in a monastery or convent. Or an adult regretting their actions, kneeling in a chapel or at some remote location in the wilderness. It is an act that assumes a position of humility or surrender. The word “warrior”, on the other hand, makes me think of samurais and knights and Pocahontas and ninjas and, well, you get my point. Strong, dignified, upright, never bowing down, unrelenting, unyielding. However, through the years, I’ve learned that prayer is an important discipline, a practice that is called for even for the strongest of wills and the toughest of tough cookies. A prayerful person is essential in facing the challenges and wars that inevitably come in life. But when do we pray, exactly? Is it when we are strong to say we still depend on God, even when all seems well, or is it when we’re at our weakest and our need for Him is ever more apparent? Is it when we need something or is it when we’re thankful that we have all we need? Is it when we’re desperate for Him, yearning to focus on Him alone amid distractions of mind and heart, or is it when we are already so attuned to His will and only ask for its continuance? Is it just for us on a personal level, or for others as well, in their stead? This is by no means an exhaustive list but it’s a good list of situations or moments or instances when we can pray, based on 2 Chronicles 6:18-42. This particular sermon was from a few months back but it’s still applicable whenever, wherever.

So…first up, hurt. Ask ourselves, have I wronged the other? We are in a broken world. The world today holds a lot of hurt and suffering. Some start small, others are more major, but a hurt’s a hurt, and we’ve all experienced it at some point in our lives, sometimes even on a regular basis. When hurt, our tendency is to focus on the pain and ourselves, but we need to be more open-minded to possibilities and ask ourselves, “Have I wronged the other?” We all vary in sensitivities, but a wrongful act is a sin not only against the person, but also against God. So pray and ask God to mediate. Since only He is righteous and just, then He can judge. Ask for Him to judge between you two and do to each of you as He sees fit.

Defeat. We’ve all experienced defeat, failures, and disappointments in life, when we’re just so broken and shattered. It’s not quite the same as hurt, but it is related. How do we respond to repeated defeats in life? Hurt and suffering is intertwined with sin, whether our personal sin or generational sin/sin of others. Most say sin is an act of transgression, a blatant act, something concrete that you witness. However, sin is not just an act. 1 John 3:4 defines sin as lawlessness, disobedience of the law. The last of the ten commandments in Exodus 20 states that we are not to covet. Covetousness is not an act. It is a thought, which may or may not translate into a feeling, which may or may not translate into an act. Disobedience in whatever aspect, or a thought out of line, is already a sin and we fail and are defeated in this respect everyday. We are affected by sin everyday, again, either by our own doing or other people’s actions. In the same way, healing and forgiveness are intertwined. The road to healing starts with forgiving and letting go, an acknowledgment of things being beyond your control, things being as they are. So we pray for that acceptance, for forgiving hearts, for repentant hearts. God redeems us everyday and every moment by Christ’s one act on the cross all those years ago. You may be hurt. You may be disappointed and feel like you’re destroyed and at your lowest. But beyond yourself, the sin was against God. Let God take the reins and ask for His healing hand. Practically speaking, holding grudges and vendettas and plotting ways of revenge are just too hard in the long run, not to mention exhausting.

Hunger is a perfect scenario for prayer as well. It is in hunger that we see the fragility of the human body and psyche, and the dependence on God that is necessary to survive and thrive. As bad as it sounds, if we’re being honest, suffering drives us to repentance. If we’re being rewarded in sin, why would we be motivated to repent? Not that we’re going around being masochists. We don’t go around trying to hurt ourselves. The concept of sin in the early days is tied into famine/poverty. Poverty does something to the mind. It messes with your perception of your worth and capabilities. He will take care of us, sure, but we’re not only to pray for the immediate material solution to the problem. That’s not the point. God is not a vending machine. We don’t just pray for food for the hungry. We don’t just pray for money for the poor. These are also spiritual diseases, to which we should pray for repentance from sin. We are to pray for a heart that returns to Him, no matter the conditions we’re facing. The conditions (hunger, poverty, whathaveyou), are not the focus here. The focus is on your heart. Pray for His guidance, for Him to lead us.

When disease or disaster plague us, when forces beyond our control threaten to wear us down and tear us apart, or if they already are, pray. It is when we’re aware of our affliction that we should all the more pray. Just as poverty warps our minds, how we perceive affliction (and our anticipation of what is to come and our assumptions of what will transpire) changes us entirely. So in the face of disaster, choose to see the good and the great, choose to see the beauty, choose to see the blessings that are still inevitably present. Choose to look beyond yourself. It’s the worry and the expectations that bog us down. Life is so much more than disease or disaster. In the face of both, rediscover humility. Gone are the facades. Approach God, asking for forgiveness and praying for a God-centered view of your life, not a me-centered or self-centered one, a life of obedience starting from our hearts.

*A cappella* “Carry on my wayward son. There’ll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest. Don’t you cry no more.” *Cue in crazy guitar rifts* It might seem weird that I’m quoting a classic rock song but Kansas’ “Carry On Wayward Son” is a fitting description of the journey of searching and wandering (plus I love the musical buildup and progression…and the hope at the end is completely warranted). There’s a lot of shuffling around in recent years, and people moving and wandering far from home are becoming a trend. I admire those who have been able to stick it out in the same place because it takes a lot of commitment to stay, especially if your environment or certain conditions are not ideal. But I also admire those who have been secure, but stepped out of their comfort zones to venture into the unknown, whether by choice or necessity or both. Speaking from personal experience, migrating shakes your world. I was ready for the change, but that didn’t mean I didn’t feel lonely the first few months, and it certainly didn’t mean that I was able to adjust right away. When you are uprooted and everything you’ve ever known is far far away, you don’t have much to lean on.

Each person’s experience is different, but for me, it was a number of things. One of my closest friends had passed away. The place just didn’t feel right anymore. It made me question a lot of things about life and how I was living mine. I was starting down a horrible path of parties, drinking, going to places I should not be at odd hours, shutting people out, neglecting studies, dropping certain boundaries…I knew for a while the possibility of moving was imminent, and I needed a change. Now, several years after first moving here, I can see clearly how God was leading me here, using each circumstance to painstakingly mold me into who I am today. Just the year or two after moving here, gone was the girl who was terrified of getting lost taking transit. You can leave me anywhere now. LOL. Gone was the girl who carried a chip on her shoulder because, news flash, the past is past. It’s not always about me, even if I really was dealt with an “unfair” set of cards. People change sooo much. Just this past year alone, I’ve never had to grow so much. We go through so many things in life, wandering here and there, and when it’s just you facing life in a “foreign land”, God is your only real anchor. Wandering is a feeling of constant unsettling and resettling. In that state of solitude and searching is when you need an anchor that is constant, wherever you may be. Know God’s Name and pray.

I will never forget what Louie Giglio said about God and our lives when I attended a Passion concert for the very first time. It was back in late 2010, and in the middle of Chris Tomlin’s perfectly soft strums, Louie painted this wonderful analogy of how we are all part of one great movie, to which God is the director. He is the head honcho. He calls the shots. Just to be assigned a part in this grand film, no matter how small or big a part, is already honor enough. I come back to this thought whenever I feel like writing my own script to my life. It’s easy to forget that my life is not my own, but is God’s and is designed for a whole different purpose than what I may envision for myself. The same goes for when He commands us to go somewhere or to do something. We are living in times of war and we are in the midst of a spiritual fight. The enemy is Satan, not against flesh and blood, but Christ is already victorious. God has given us the tools necessary to succeed in His mission for us. He’s given us an armor, and if we are obedient, following His will, He will surely provide. Pray for continued obedience and unwavering faith in filling shoes we might feel are too big sometimes. If God says the big shoes are for you, then maybe you should open your mind to God possibly directing a comedy. Get it? Big shoes? Clowns? Never mind.

You know those old English shows where the main character experiences a tragedy and goes, “Woe is me”? I imagine that’s what the Israelites must have been thinking, except instead of vain self-pity, this was legit despair. Imagine being captured by ruthless opposing empires. The prayer in 2 Chronicles 6 talks of the very real possibility of captivity and how God, though loving, is just. When people sin, they were allowed to be held captive and taken by the enemies. Realistically speaking, then and now, no one doesn’t sin. I realize that’s a double negative but that’s the emphasis. Everyone sins. So when we sin, repent. Pray. Do we have things that hold us captive? We all have persistent sins and habits…addictions and obsessions. What’s more, at times, I’ve already repented, but I find myself back at the same sin. It’s so easy for us to fall into the same pattern of addictive behaviors. Some have issues with lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh, and pride of the heart – among other temptations. Anger is also an addictive behavior. When you’re frustrated or irritated and your default emotional option is anger? There’s some underlying control and power issues there. Ouch for you if you can relate, but I’m as much at fault as you are on this. If you live in my city, you’d understand why it’s “natural” to develop road rage. Sometimes, you’ll wonder how certain people get their driver’s licenses. That’s a control issue for me. When I snap at people, my tiredness should not be an excuse. It’s usually a power issue for me, especially if I snapped at certain family members, just because, honestly, sometimes, it’s the only way to get their attention and for them to actually listen and take me seriously. Sins like these are like an itch you just have to scratch or it’ll drive you bonkers. So I try to think of it in a different way.

Ephesians 4 tells us to put off our old selves, together with our deceitful desires, and be made new in our thought patterns, in the attitude of our minds. It all starts with the mind, and then when we are disciplined in our thoughts, our desires change, and then our actions change. (More on the discipline of the mind in future entries!) Personally, I don’t think of it as just another thing I’m prohibited to do. How I look at it is I have a personal relationship with God and I’d rather go bonkers not scratching the itch than disappoint Him. More than the punishment that comes with the sin, it’s the disappointment that crushes me…and the feeling that I’ve failed. Again. But that’s the beauty of God’s love for us. He sent His son to die for ALL of our sins. It is by grace that we are saved, through faith, and not by our own actions. We can’t, with all our might, on our own, make up for every sin we’ve done in life. That’s just impossible. I’m far from perfect, but with God, definitely a work in progress. You don’t have to get yourself straight before God hears your prayers. It’s such a beautiful thing, that we have the capacity to change and to grow. So I strive and I pray to be more like Him each day, to help me break free from my captivity, asking for His forgiveness, even though He’s already given it. I am free.

Interestingly, after Solomon’s prayer in 2 Chronicles 6, we get an answer from the Lord right away. May you be encouraged to pray more as you read His response to Solomon from 2 Chronicles 7:13-16.

“When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people, if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place. I have chosen and consecrated this temple so that my Name may be there forever. My eyes and my heart will always be there.”

Sunday’s Take-Away #27: God’s Mission is Our Life Mission

Think of this as like a…different approach to The Great Commission…Reverend Lai style.

The particular church I belong to is an evangelical church, and so, for us to be true to our name, we should be evangelists right? Passionate about making Christ known to others, and winning people over in the battle of eternity? Nope. We’re just people, trying to get over ourselves and our fears and our inhibitions, our hesitations. Still, we try. In the past few months, a change is being seen and felt as our church has grown and formed a missions and outreach team. More emphasis has been placed on concern for others beyond just a care package or sandwich brought to Vancouver’s downtown east side (It’s not to say that it’s not important and not that we don’t still do the trips to the east side haha). We look to those not too far away.

We look at that girl we see every week, ringing our grocery items. We see the young man making our coffee every Friday morning before work. We encounter the pump attendant at the gas station we frequent. We see these people on a regular basis but we may not even know them. We don’t know their story. We don’t know if that cashier girl is the breadwinner because her single-parent mom is ill. We don’t know if that young man is dealing with an addiction. We don’t know if they have hope or if they’ve even heard about a man called Jesus. If we do know these people and strike up regular, random conversations within the few minutes we can spare, before heading in to work or just after dinner, they’re just within reach. Yet we don’t have a Barney Stinson attitude. No challenge accepted here. We let the opportunity pass. We have much to learn young padawans, but we are gradually learning and growing and venturing out into the world, whether it be our local coffee houses or the other side of the globe. Concern for the world…that’s where Rev. Lai began his sermon today.

He supposes that a church involved in world missions is a church after God’s own heart. Think about it this way: the words of a dying person are very important to the person’s loved one/s. These words often represent an unfinished task or a legacy to be passed on. In Matthew 28, Christ spoke of The Great Commission. Okay, if we want to be technical, the words were not uttered before His death. He spoke the words after His death and resurrection, before His ascension. But these words were still the words He left us with, before He ascended…in some ways, His parting words. The Great Commission bears much weight.

True life mission can never be just an activity to do but rather, involves the purpose of your life. Our main purpose in life in this world is The Great Commission. What has The Great Commission got to do with our life mission? You just can’t do without it. It’s impossible. It’s too closely tied with your life. It’s how you are. John 8:14 shows that Jesus had a clear objective and purpose in life.

What is life anyway? Some say it begins at the moment you are born until the moment you die. Personally, I’d like to say it starts right at conception, but I’m not here to argue about pro-life or abortion or RH bills. That’s for another time. So, back on track…some also say life is whatever activities you do between the time of your birth and the time of your death. Again, personally, life is sooo much more than just activities. Life is not only measured by what you do but also the “content of life” (the meaning, the motivation behind each action, the purpose) and time span.

What is time? Disclaimer: It got very Dr. Who-ish…or philo haha. If you destroy all the watches and clocks in the world, does time still exist? Time still exists because those devices are only instruments to measure time. Without clocks, you’d still have morning and night. An old African joke pits a Caucasian westerner (with a watch) against an African (with no instrument to tell exact time). In trying to meet up, the African was constantly late. The Caucasian grew impatient and finally called the African out on it. The African simply responded with a “You have the watch, I have the time,” for they had no other means of telling time except by the approximate position of the sun…and they had the time lol If the joke doesn’t sink in, it’s ok. Maybe you’ll get this next one.

There’s an old Chinese saying that one inch of time is one inch of gold because time is precious and all that. But time and money are two different things and so another saying was added on. One inch of time is one inch of gold, but one inch of gold can never buy one inch of time. To a scholar like Stephen Hawking, “time is that dimension in which cause and effect phenomena take place,” as penned in his work, “A Brief History of Time”. Augustine’s take on it was this: “What then is time? If no one asks me, I know; if I wish to explain it to one who asketh, I know not.” However, after falling asleep and waking up wary of time, he figured that time exists in the consciousness of our life. When we’re asleep, we have no sense of time. That’s why we need alarm clocks in the morning to wake us into consciousness for work or church or meetings or errands. Time exists in correlation to our consciousness. I grossly disagree. I think you may not feel time and you may not feel that you’re bound to it but just because you have no consciousness of something, doesn’t make it non-existent. It may not be a part of your reality, but it doesn’t mean it’s not real. Are we to say the voices schizophrenics hear are real because they’re real to them? But again, digressing. Not here to argue about what reality and consciousness and time really is. On to the reverend’s next (perhaps more valid) point.

Past, present, and future – which do you live for? *Cue Jeopardy music* Ok, to all those who said “past”, the reverend claims that it must be painful. The past is the past. We can do nothing to change what has already been. To those who did not say “past”, you must read a lot of Paul, “forgetting what lies behind.” To those who said “future”, the reverend kids that the people around you will be or are already in pain. You tend to procrastinate and put things off for a tomorrow that never comes (’cause there is usually another tomorrow to defer or postpone to). On a more serious note, time is not in our hands. How do you know you’ll still have a tomorrow. Not all deaths are due to natural causes. Not all dead bodies are old and aged. Some are newborns. Some are teens. Most are taken prematurely. Why live for a tomorrow that might not come? Now to those who said “present”, this is an impossible feat. Every time you say “now”, it’s gone. Now? Gone. Now? Gone. LOL. Time is constantly moving on and forward, never stopping for anyone. It is just an ideal.

With all these detours in trying to define life and time, what’s the main point? We don’t know how long we have left on this earth and the quality with which we live our lives is important. So…? We need to live for Jesus. We need to live our lives for Jesus. This is not a simple statement equivalent to “I need shoes.” I simply want shoes. But I NEED to live for Jesus. Just like water is essential to our physical bodies, Jesus is necessary in our lives. We should live for and invest in eternity, focus on our eternal purpose. Hebrews 13:8 sums it up quite nicely I think. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”

He ends with two anecdotes and a metaphor. The first anecdote concerns his meeting with the chief honcho boss-man of a renowned mafia gang. A contact person arranged for the meeting. Before heading in to meet the chief, the middle man mentioned that the last person who tried to share the gospel with the chief ended up getting badly beaten. “So why are you asking me to do this,” Reverend Lai exclaimed. Still, the reverend walked in, only taking comfort in the thought that the chief had recently broken his leg, and that would probably limit his mobility in trying to beat the reverend up if he didn’t like what the reverend had to say. Probably. There’s no assurance that he doesn’t have henchmen to do the beating for him. It was with this mindset that the reverend entered “the headquarters”.

The chief looked impatient and menacing, despite the broken leg. The reverend decided to begin with “I know you live a successful and exciting life…” “Really? How do you know? Do you know me,” asked the chief. “Yes, I’ve heard so many things about you, that people fear and respect you.” The chief lit up and went into a tirade of his adventures and his reign. After his exciting stories, the reverend said there is a more exciting, abundant, and meaningful life. The chief asked what and how, and the reverend proceeded to tell him of the life in Christ. The reverend invited the chief to pray a simple sinner’s prayer. The chief thought for a while, and agreed to receiving the life. The chief followed along, word for word, but after the prayer, the reverend did not know if the chief was just mimicking or if that was an actual decision of renouncing his sins. The reverend tried asking what the chief’s greatest achievement was, to which the chief asked the reverend to forget about his past. That “successful past” is the past of a sinner. In that thirty minutes, the chief saw things from the perspective of eternity.

The second anecdote involves D. L. Moody. Aside from literature, he had an affinity for art. One time, he stumbled upon an oil painting which he immediately liked. It was a painting of a man, seemingly drowning at sea, both hands desperately grasping the foot of a cross. He might have thought the painting great, for it depicted the life of a Christian, desperately clinging to Jesus, the only one with the power to save. He immediately bought the painting. While waiting, he walked around, and saw another oil painting. He immediately regretted his hasty purchase. This second painting really showed the life of a true Christian, and is similar to the first, save for one detail. The painting depicted the same man, seemingly drowning at sea, but with just one hand clinging to the cross, because his other hand was holding onto another man’s hand. A true, mature Christian would bring others to Christ, win souls for the kingdom.

The time you have left to do the good work for God’s kingdom is likened to a football game. The game has two halves. Let’s say the average life span of a person is about sixty or seventy. That means, once a person reaches thirty or thirty five, he or she is already done with the first half of the game. Like basketball, you only have to keep up in the first half, but you really have to hustle in the second. You don’t know if you’ll be staying ’til the end of the game or you’ll be ejected even before the final quarter. Time flies. Will you be the star quarterback or the erroneous linebacker? When the game is done, will you be saying “Father, it is finished. I’ve lived my life faithfully according to Your purpose” or “Father, it is finished. Too little, too late. A waste. Sorry”?

(Scripture: Luke 2:42-52)

Sunday’s Take-Away #15: The Great Commission

I cannot, for the life of me, carry a conversation. I’m more of a listener. And I babble when I’m nervous and flustered. Sure, I can strike up a conversation, but I can’t really hold it long. It eventually turns into a Q & A rather than an actual, equal exchange of information. Writing is more my speed. But really, social awkwardness or not, that doesn’t change the fact that we were given The Great Commission. Reverend Fung starts his sermon with an anecdote.

He was having supper with a minister. The minister shares that some people would come to him after each service and criticize his sermons, to which he responds with the question, “Where’s your authority?!” The main goal should first and foremost be to bring people to Christ. Jesus has the authority of heaven and earth, bringing authority to earth to transform it.

He was at T&T one time and when he was at the checkout counter, he was making small talk with the cashier attendant while she was ringing his grocery items, when he thought to ask her if she knew who Jesus was. “Jesus? Who is he? Is he famous?” So here he was, explaining to her that Jesus is the son of the one true God, who loved us and died for us to save us from our sins, and all we had to do was believe in Him. By the end of this blurb, he noticed everything stop and everyone was looking at him – the attendant, the line of people behind him being held up, the people nearby on the other checkout lines. Awkward. And because he didn’t want to hold up the line anymore, he was bidding her goodbye, when she said the most wonderful thing: “Wait, when will you come back? You need to tell us more about Jesus.” It was so worth it.

So you may think that money is power, money is authority. The more money you have, the louder your voice is. Rev. Fung didn’t buy the whole T&T Supermarket, but his authority came from Christ Jesus and money had nothing to do with that. The church, likewise, is not a club or a Chinese association where only the elite can join. You’re just totally missing the point if what drives the church is money or authority other than that which Christ has given to us. So, Jesus’ two points in the Great Commission is: (1) Authority. Don’t be afraid of the world. Share with your friends, especially those who have not heard of Him. His granddaughter had once met up with friends, and when he was picking her up, he got acquainted with her friends and shared with them about Jesus. After he and his granddaughter got home, she told him off, saying he should never do that again and that he could get arrested for what he did. His only response to her was, “Did I do something wrong? Tell me, what’s wrong with what I did?” She couldn’t find an answer, so she didn’t say a word.

Authority. I can’t remember if he still lives there, but for a time, he lived on a small street with nineteen houses lined up on each side of the street. One day, he was sitting in front of his window doing his devos., when he looked out the window and saw all the houses on his street. He wanted to share to them somehow, but how can he, when he’s the only Chinese person on his street? His thoughts drifted to John Knox’s words. “Give me Scotland, or I die.” So his vow involved something similar. “Give me this street, or I die.” He’s hoping, very badly, not to die, but this seemed like an impossible feat…a feat he nonetheless felt a burden in his heart to take on. That Christmas, he sent everyone on his street a Christmas card. It went something like this: “Money can buy you a good house, but not necessarily a good neighborhood. Praise Jesus that we were blessed with both. Take Him into your house, and accept Him as your Saviour.” No one wrote him back.

One day, he was gardening in his backyard when he noticed someone standing by the gate. The person was really thin, and introduced himself as Gordon (or was it Golden? I really couldn’t catch the name. I’m deaf. Sorry.Let’s just assume I got it right and his name IS Gordon.). Anyway, this person lived across Rev. Fung and had cancer. On Rev. Fung’s first visit to Gordon’s place, he asked Gordon if he was a Christian and if he was saved. Gordon’s answer was a tentative yes. Then a maybe. He went on to explain that he’d help people out whenever he could, attended church before with his parents, and knew a few things about God. Rev. Fung then explained, “Jesus died as payment for all of our sins. He did it as a free gift to all of us. Would you like to receive this gift and accept Him as Saviour?” Smiling, Gordon said “Sure! Why not?” Rev. Fung prayed for him, and since then, has been visiting him often.

One night, Rev. Fung was settling in upon returning from a trip to the States when he heard someone at the door. It was Gordon’s wife and son. They informed him that Gordon had passed away while he was out of town and since they did not know any ministers, they were wondering if he would be willing to oversee his funeral service and say a few words. How could he say no to that? So he gathered his church’s pianist and some members to help put together this service for Gordon. The chapel was packed, pew to pew. Lo and behold (can’t help but use that expression)! Most of the people were from their street! So here they were. His street. God had given Rev. Fung the platform to speak to his neighbors. Given that some would say it could’ve happened under better circumstances than by the death of a friend, still, God uses each moment of our lives (or even each moment after it), to bring people to Himself. Also, Gordon is in a better place. The moment was seized, and Gordon became instrumental in the planting of the seeds in his neighbors hearts. Even after death.

(2) Teach. “Teach them what I’ve told you.” Teach people the ways of the Lord. Ten years ago, Rev. Fung’s wife passed away. It was a difficult time. He eventually came to question if he should continue ministering to people. Yes, he stopped ministering in a church setting, but God didn’t let him stop ministering. The Lord led him to FEBC (Far East Broadcasting Company), where, after working with them for a while, the manager shared with him their aim towards broadcasting and sharing to the people in China, and encouraged him to be the person to do so. They decided on focusing on the book of Hebrews, and he prepared 35 topics from it. After a while, they received a letter from South China. Initially dismissing it as just a normal letter, he placed it on his table. Upon insistence of his manager to read it right away, he sat down, and found out the letter was written by a 7-year-old. It was of great importance, for this letter was the very first they had received from that area. This 7-year-old then went on to explain that she was sitting by her window, listening to her radio, listening to him talking about Jesus. She thanked him and said she completely understood what he was talking about. She encouraged him to continue, because she would like to continue listening on her radio. Imagine, a little girl, fully understanding Hebrews. The Holy Spirit moved this little girl into understanding, and it was wonderful.

Fifty years ago, when Rev. Fung was quite young (…or young-er lol), him and his family moved to Hong Kong. They lived in a house that had pretty high ceilings and was enough for their family. The house was rectangular. It had windows up front and windows at the back, but no windows on the side of the house. Because the house was rectangular, it was divided into three rooms. Now the problem was that the middle room had no windows, and so the partition in between rooms could only go so high. The partitions did not go all the way to the ceiling, so that the middle room would still have proper ventilation. Rev. Fung slept in the front room, together with a sibling. It so happened that one night, he was telling his brother a story. And it got late. And he wanted to postpone it for the following night. But seeing as he stopped at a very suspense-filled part of the story, his father, “sleeping” all the way towards the back room, then ordered him to continue. The lack of partition towards the ceiling meant everyone can hear what went on in the other rooms. The Lord gifted him with storytelling, and he fully intends to continue using it to fill God’s house. How about you? When all accounts are settled one day, would you be able to proudly say that you’ve used your talents well, and that because of you, people have been saved? Would you see people you care about in heaven one day? Time is ticking.

(Scripture: Matthew 28:16-20)